Birthday!

it’s my 19th birthday today!!!!

and the countdown begins for my last days being a teenager. i was expecting myself to feel a little unhappy about it (dramatic, i know) but it feels just like any other day. the older i get the the less excited i am about these things. i used to be okay with celebrating occasions and stuff but now, i don’t even think it’s necessary to do so.

i haven’t posted in so long that it’s my first time seeing the new theme for making a new post. it looks light and android-like.

anyway, happy birthday to me!!

do you get that feeling?

that feeling of emptiness, loss and fear all bottled up inside you that you don’t know how to handle it anymore?

and that feeling of being buried by your own emotions because you can’t contain them all at once?

i think that’s what i have been feeling for the past two weeks now. i try to distract myself as much as i can but when i’m all alone with no one to talk to, all the emotions keep coming back.  i have been fearing about my future to be really honest. i want many things to happen for myself. i want things for myself. i’m only 18 but i’ve already been thinking about how i would die in contrary to many who think of how they should survive each day. as i wrote that sentence, i realized that i’m quite a pessimistic person. instead of looking at the fuller side, i tend to focus on its emptiness. i don’t know why i’m like, again. 

i want to be happy again. not only when i’m with my friends or when i’m surrounded with lots of people but also when i’m all alone. i’d like to enjoy the being alone again. i’d like to be able to see that there’s something good for me and that i’m actually good for something. that i’m worth something.

My New Obsessions

I have not blogged for a while now… it’s been so busy with all the school activities, projects, exams, events, everything! But with all those busy-ness, i was able to find new interests.

First: 5 Seconds of Summer!

5sos2from left to right: Luke Hemmings, Calum Hood, Ashton Irwin and Michael Clifford.

They’re a band from Australia(woohoo) and i actually knew them because of One Direction, i am a directioner if you don’t know 🙂

Liking this band made me feel like i’m an old lady because only Ashton is older than me! I feel like a pedophile to be honest. Speaking of being honest, i prefer their music than 1D’s. We all cannot deny that 1D’s music is ‘bubblegum’.. i don’t even know the right term for it, but 5SOS’ music is pop rock. I quite enjoy it. Another, I like them because they’re almost the same age as me which makes them relatable, to me to say the least. These boys are gorgeous and that’s also a factor. 🙂

Oh! Before i forget, i actually thought Calum was Asian and that’s why i followed him on twitter(he was the first one i followed). Then as i was googling things about them, i found out that Calum hated it when people think he’s Asian. I was a bit sad and offended because i’m Asian (Filipino) but i’m not gonna judge him just because of that. I know he’s not shallow nor close-minded to hate a race. 🙂 Calum’s my fave. He’s my baby boy. 🙂

And to finish off, they play instruments. Enough said. No, it isn’t. I like boys who play instruments and can sing. They all can sing! I love it. I love this band. Thanks, 1D!

Second: Paramore and Fall Out Boy

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Don’t get me wrong, i have known these bands for a long time now but only now have i realized how much i like their music. I enjoy them. Very much. I have my own concerts in the house singing their songs 😛 Up to this day. 🙂 I still have not grown tired of them and i probably won’t ever.

I like the ‘before‘ Paramore and the current Paramore. I don’t care if people say Still Into You is corny because  I actually enjoy listening to it. Specially that acoustic version they did in LA (I think). I like their sound from before and from now. They’ll be around for long. 🙂

Now, Fall Out Boy. 🙂 When i was younger, i didn’t like this band. I can’t remember why, i just didn’t. But then, one day, I was watching MTV and their song ‘The Phoenix’ came on and i thought it was really cool. So i searched for it on Youtube and i got obsessed. I listened to it for weeks. Then, i found out about the song Sugar, We’re Going Down and once again, i found a new addiction. Yay me!

Third: ROAR!

katyI edited this image and i’m sorry for my poor photoshop skills! And yes, this is about Katy Perry’s new single, Roar. I like this song because of its message. Just a few weeks ago, i watched Katy’s movie about her life while she’s on tour and how she handles her personal and pubic life. I’m not what you can call a ‘fan‘ but that movie was touching and inspirational. I bet her fans loved her even more because i did.

Last but not the least, Fourth: Bamboo

bambsThis is Bamboo Mañalac. He is considered a rock icon legend in my country, Philippines. He is currently one of the coaches in The Voice Philippines. And to me, he is one attractive man. Woohoo. And he’s got a voice that can rule the world. He is so rock n’ roll. Wow, i sound cheesy and corny. or do i? haha.

Bamboo was the vocalist of Rivermaya (one of the best bands in the country) and the band Bamboo. There’s not much i could say about him right now because i’m still in the process of discovering the greatness that is him. I’ll leave you with his cover of A Team and an original by Rivermaya, 214.

These are the people i obsessed over while trying to balance time for all the school works i have. They gave me peace at times where my brain seemed to refuse to function well. I did not include 1D in this because they are a given. 🙂 Till next time.

Today, my…

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So today, my sister bought me a bag. I couldn’t take a better photo coz my father is right at the corner. >.< I’m blogging about a ‘bag’ because i like this ‘bag’. Too much use of the word ‘bag’ in this blog entry so bear with me please.

It was a few months ago when I first realized that i like bags. Not handbags or shoulder bags but backpacks. I do own 2 shoulder bags though 🙂 The reason why I’m not fond of handbags and shoulder bags is that you can only carry it with one arm, so I decided to stay with the reliable backpacks. You can put a lot more things inside them! AND, more pockets too!

Anyway, my friend said that on Friday she’ll cook pancit canton for me 🙂 YAY! meehhh. I’m excited about that because that will be the last Friday of my summer this year. Classes will start next week. Ugh. My body is not yet prepared for this.

And that book at the back, that’s John Green’s “The Fault In Our Stars“. I haven’t read it and it’s been with me for months! I borrowed it from my friend who hasn’t read it either. Maybe I’ll read it when I’m stressed over all my upcoming homeworks/projects/exams or whatsoever. I don’t really want to think about going back to school right now. I must enjoy the last days of my vacation. I must! But this bag is a great start for my second year. 🙂

A thing i like

i think i have a thing for tragic and sad stories. i dont know why but i like to write those kinds of stuff and read them, too. my favorite movie is A Walk To Remember based from the book by Nicholas Sparks, it’s a sad story and even though i’ve watched it a hundred times, i still cry on certain parts of it. i really can’t explain why i enjoy the angst in all of those.

i’m saying this because if i’m gonna write another story, i guarantee that it will be a sad one or maybe just a little twist to it. i really don’t like predictable endings. as much as i like Perks Of Being A Wallflower, i haven’t even reached the middle of the film, i already knew how it’s gonna end. i read the book after watching the book and i suggest that NO ONE do that! make sure that you read the book first before watching the movie. well, that’s my opinion.

the last thing i read was 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher and i recommend it to every teenager out there, also those in their early twenties… 🙂 i just really don’t think Selena Gomez would be a fitting actress for the lead role, Hannah Baker. the movie isn’t out on the cinemas yet and i don’t know if they’re shooting it already. i just heard of this just to make things clear.

now, may we all have a great summer!

okay, so i got lazy yesterday and did not post anything.

lol, just coz there’s nothing to talk about! just celebrated…….yeah.

none in my family drinks, so only my cousins did all that. my dad cooked everything!!! thanks to him 🙂

fave part: the lechon. sarap pala talaga nun???!! ngayon ko lang nalaman. 😛

no gifts 😦

but iz owkaay. i’m just really bored. i want to do something but then i’m too lazy. what do i do with my life?? help me?

lol.

k. bye. 🙂