do you get that feeling?

that feeling of emptiness, loss and fear all bottled up inside you that you don’t know how to handle it anymore?

and that feeling of being buried by your own emotions because you can’t contain them all at once?

i think that’s what i have been feeling for the past two weeks now. i try to distract myself as much as i can but when i’m all alone with no one to talk to, all the emotions keep coming back.  i have been fearing about my future to be really honest. i want many things to happen for myself. i want things for myself. i’m only 18 but i’ve already been thinking about how i would die in contrary to many who think of how they should survive each day. as i wrote that sentence, i realized that i’m quite a pessimistic person. instead of looking at the fuller side, i tend to focus on its emptiness. i don’t know why i’m like, again. 

i want to be happy again. not only when i’m with my friends or when i’m surrounded with lots of people but also when i’m all alone. i’d like to enjoy the being alone again. i’d like to be able to see that there’s something good for me and that i’m actually good for something. that i’m worth something.

A Zombie Apocalypse or An Alien Invasion?

so yeah, what do you think will be worse for us?

i have cousins who have a really bad fear for Zombies. they already have plans if ever there will be a Zombie Apocalypse here on earth. i remember them telling me that they’ll be getting all the chocolates from the supermarkets and all the other food they want. add to that, they will also take advantage of the situation to steal all the clothes, shoes and bags they have wanted for so long. all the while they were telling me that i was just thinking to myself ‘like a Zombie Apocalypse will ever happen.‘ or ‘yeah you got all you want, then after you just die.‘ Well, i do tell them that but they just shake me off. LOL.

An Alien Invasion? sounds unreal too for me.

i just can’t imagine having another creature here on earth that looks like an octopus but lives on land. when i think of aliens, i always imagine them to have disgusting features like those in the movies. Men in Black is where i base the look of aliens. that movie really influenced me of being disgusted of how they look. but i have never thought that that movie would ever be real. i just can’t imagine two men fighting aliens and having really powerful guns with them all the time.

thank goodness i haven’t met a person who fears aliens.

zombies and aliens, for me, are just mere products of the wild human mind. i don’t fear both because i don’t believe in them. yeah, that’s it for me. 🙂 🙂

this has been my blog entry for March 27, 2012, Tuesday.