do you get that feeling?

that feeling of emptiness, loss and fear all bottled up inside you that you don’t know how to handle it anymore?

and that feeling of being buried by your own emotions because you can’t contain them all at once?

i think that’s what i have been feeling for the past two weeks now. i try to distract myself as much as i can but when i’m all alone with no one to talk to, all the emotions keep coming back.  i have been fearing about my future to be really honest. i want many things to happen for myself. i want things for myself. i’m only 18 but i’ve already been thinking about how i would die in contrary to many who think of how they should survive each day. as i wrote that sentence, i realized that i’m quite a pessimistic person. instead of looking at the fuller side, i tend to focus on its emptiness. i don’t know why i’m like, again. 

i want to be happy again. not only when i’m with my friends or when i’m surrounded with lots of people but also when i’m all alone. i’d like to enjoy the being alone again. i’d like to be able to see that there’s something good for me and that i’m actually good for something. that i’m worth something.

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Last Day of 2013

So, this will be my last post for this year, 2013!!! (obviously lol)

I haven’t posted anything in 3 months and i’m so sorry for that. This blog entry will contain all the important events that happened in my 2013. Not all of them may seem important to you but they are to me because these will be the things that made me feel happy, sad, important and all different emotions.

Let’s start!

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These photos were taken in January during my Tito and Lola’s birthday. Their bdays aren’t on the same day but the family just decided to spend on one day cause it’s more convenient for everyone since we don’t live near one another. I don’t actually remember anything in particular about this day. We just skyped with my Titos in the US and the kids were playing, oh they were really enjoying the time cause it’s not that often that they see each other. And as for me.. well, I think I ate a lot.. like i always do during family gatherings. 🙂

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This was on Valentine’s Day! I don’t have a boyfriend so I just spent it at school with friends. The first photo was taken inside my school. The Student Council at that time held a movie marathon so we decided to go because we actually have nothing else to do. The other two photos were taken inside the Eastwood Mall. They had like a special “event” (idk what it’s called, sorry) for chocolates and so we went there then took a picture behind that heart thingy. 😛 The mall was actually just in front of my school… Valentine’s was a lazy day for us. Haha. 😀

OH! The SC also had this BINGO contest thing and my friend won so she treated us some McDonald’s 🙂

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See!! McLovin’ 🙂

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INFOLYMPICS :))

My friend and I had the chance to take a picture with Jeric Teng. He went here because he plays for the Informatics Icons for the D-League. They just gave a few encouraging words and hoped that we all support them in the competition. He’s super tall! Or mayber i’m just super short. hahaha 😛 The second pic was taken during the second day of the infolympics. I was reading “Looking for Alaska” by John Green at the time and I actually brought the book with me as you can see in the picture.

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This was our project in Logic Design. Alou and I thought we wouldn’t be able to finish this one because we didn’t pay that much attention in this class (sorry, sir Tacs :D) but fortunately, we managed to complete it and make it work. Alou was going through a hard time during the making of this project so I had to be more understanding and patient with her. Hi Alou! LOL.

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I don’t remember if this was a fieldtrip or a team-building event.. but it was fun 🙂 We got to swim after we went through all the obstacle courses. Then I actually got to touch a cow or a sheep or a carabao’s back… I don’t know what it’s called.. but it was something on it’s back which was similar to a camel’s but it was so soft when you touch it. It looked hard but it’s not.. get it? Haha 😛

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This was a despedida party for my friend, Honeyme and also a birthday party for her. Well, it was a party for the gang 😀 She was going to leave to Mindanao and stay there for good with her family. I was sad this day because my bestfriend was leaving and I don’t know when we’ll be able to see each other again. We did have lots of fun this day but I think I also cried after a few days because I was going to be away with my friend. ugh. the emotions. 😥 We still do stay in contact. 🙂

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1st photo: Taken at the entrance of Pizza Hut Eastwood. It was my friend’s birthday and she treated us. She’s actually not in the photo above… LOL. I’m such a bad friend. But I couldn’t find a better picture! She would understand. AHahaha 😛

2nd photo: We were having a photoshoot for our project in Photoshop class. We had to make a poster with a theme, and our theme was…. nothing really… just students wearing their uniforms. 😀 lol. we aren’t that creative. The posters were hung on the first floor of the school building. I don’t know if I should be happy about that or embarrassed.

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These are my high school friends 🙂 I forgot where this was though… :/ I think we drove for 4 hours or more just to get here. We left at dawn and we still haven’t arrived at the location when the sun showed up.

It was still a fun day 🙂 This was a treat by my friend’s parents 🙂

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Me with our project in Physics 2! It got lights inside the house and around the front part. We worked really hard for this! :))))

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My cousin’s debut! (18th birthday) First picture’s with friends from hs and the second one’s a family picture. 🙂 She doesn’t have a phone because she refused to have one but on this day, she wasn’t able to refuse because it was a gift for her. :)) Now, she never lets anyone use it. Haha.

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Now, this one’s on my debut! We didn’t have lots of pics so I just chose this one 🙂 It’s the best one.

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With friends during Beer Fest at Eastwood. I don’t know remember if this was on September or October tho.. I was with 2 of my hs friends.. they were the ones who took this pic. Hehe. 😀

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Mary’s surprise birthday party! 18th! We were told to wear casual clothes but they wore dresses!!!! traitors! lol. But it’s okay, Mary wore a shirt and a pair of jeans. 😀 We belong.

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Christmas Day! 😀 (other relatives are there too… lol)

And an addition to my life….

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Team B from YG Entertainment. They have not debuted yet but BGolds and Watermelons are waiting for them!

From left to right: Kim HanBin, Kim JinHwan, Song YunHyeon, Kim JiWon, Kim DongHyuk, Goo JunHoe

now… random pics. :)))

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Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

This is so random

I haven’t blogged for almost a month now and I’m sorry. There aren’t any interesting events in my life this summer for I am a boring person and I don’t get out of the house, the main reason being that there’s no one who wants to hang out with me which brings us back to the fact that I am, in no doubt, a boring person. Don’t worry yourselves though, i have accepted that fact years before.

Anyway, I got my grades for the last term and I was debating if I should post it or not, obviously I decided on the latter. My grades were lower compared to the first two terms so I decided to not post it, I’m embarrassed about it. It’s not that there was a drastic change but I just failed to push it further in order to meet my scholarship requirements. But, I still managed to get a 25% scholarship. That’s a good side, right? Yeah, that’s what I tell myself.

Moving on, I have been reading a lot of fanfictions on the internet since summer break started and since then I always slept late, in which late means the sun rising in full bloom. It’s just that I can’t help myself, okay! If I started reading something, I had to finish it no matter what! It fascinates me how i feel bored all the time but still keep myself awake doing the same things everyday. I wanna go out but I know that once I’m out of the house, I’ll be wanting to go back within a few hours or minutes. This had happened before. 😛

OH! I haven’t blogged the thing we did last month. I was planning on blogging about it but I got lazy, as always. 😀 But now’s not the time to laze around!

Do we look happy? Yes? Coz we are! This was a birthday party for the one wearing the green shirt and also a despedida for her because she’s moving to Cagayan de Oro. I was sad about it but I chose not to show it because I do not like crying and I am definitely sure that if one of us starts, then we’ll all end up sobbing. LOL. 😛

That slipper was not intentionally added to make this scene picturesque. I kid, I kid. 😛

These are my bestest of best friends! 🙂 Unfortunately, as I said above, the girl in brown is moving in Cagayan while the girl in black won’t be studying in the same college anymore. Which means, only I and the one in white will stay. I will definitely miss this. *weeps*

This blog entry has been so random! I started talking about how boring I am to how frustrated I was about my grades then to how my sleeping patterns have changed dramatically to a swimming I had with my friends! Oh well, that’s just me. I am very random and weird. But I think that’s just fine coz those people above still like me. 🙂 I think that’s enough for me.

me, my friends and college

Dahil sa tagal kong nawala at wala pa akong naisusulat na kahit anong update sa aking blog, naisipan ko tuloy na bumisita sa aking site. 🙂 Magkukwento lang naman ako eh… tungkol sa mga kaibigan ko, tungkol sa college… mga normal days lang. 🙂

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Tulad na lang ng picture na ‘yan sa taas. Napaka-random… hindi ko na nga maalala kung anong araw ‘yan kinunan eh basta alam ko, isa ‘yan sa mga recent pics namin. 🙂 Yung naka-jacket na blue, si Charlie ‘yan. siya ang kaibigan ko na sinasabing hindi raw siya Pilipino kaya sabi ko naman, “Taksil ka!” hahaha 🙂 Yung naka-brown na jacket naman si Ren-Ren at ako yung babaeng naka-blue sa gilid. Kaya kami nasa gilid ni ren-ren ay dahil binalak naming matulog niyan eh. LOL. pero obviously, we weren’t successful. 😛

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at ito naman, obvious na obvious naman, nung Valentine’s Day ito kinunan. nasa mall kasi kami at nakita namin itong booth na ito kaya nagpicturan na lang kami dahil pare-pareho kaming mga walang date nung araw na iyon. 😀 ahahaha. at ito pa pala, nilibre kami ni Charlie ng chocolate cake nun! yum yum. at kinain din namin yung chocolate cake na dala ni Jaki nung day na ‘yon. may event din pala yung school nung araw na ‘yon so hindi naman kami malungkot… although, lahat ng Valentine surprises ng boys sa school ay hindi mga successful… well, hindi naman ako yung ni-surprise kaya i will not say anything more. mwahahhahahaha!

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yes, this is us again. 🙂 hindi pa naman mandatory mag-uniform sa school kaya hindi pa kami lagi nag-uuniform. Tuesday nga ang uniform day namin eh pero sabi sa amin ni ma’am *, tuwing monday na lang daw para nakikita niya… haha. anyway, natripan lang naman namin ‘to dahil lahat nga kami naka-uniform that day (Except for the two na hindi.. haha). at ang daming nagsasabi na para raw kaming nagtatrabaho sa Globe dahil sa uniform namin! LOL. it’s not our fault! si Mr. Rajo Laurel ang nag-design ng uniform so i don’t care kahit ano pa sabihin niyo, designer brand ang uniform ko. LOL.

anyway, that’s it for today 🙂 may pasok na bukas!

Feb. 25, 2013/ EDSA Revolution Day

A Zombie Apocalypse or An Alien Invasion?

so yeah, what do you think will be worse for us?

i have cousins who have a really bad fear for Zombies. they already have plans if ever there will be a Zombie Apocalypse here on earth. i remember them telling me that they’ll be getting all the chocolates from the supermarkets and all the other food they want. add to that, they will also take advantage of the situation to steal all the clothes, shoes and bags they have wanted for so long. all the while they were telling me that i was just thinking to myself ‘like a Zombie Apocalypse will ever happen.‘ or ‘yeah you got all you want, then after you just die.‘ Well, i do tell them that but they just shake me off. LOL.

An Alien Invasion? sounds unreal too for me.

i just can’t imagine having another creature here on earth that looks like an octopus but lives on land. when i think of aliens, i always imagine them to have disgusting features like those in the movies. Men in Black is where i base the look of aliens. that movie really influenced me of being disgusted of how they look. but i have never thought that that movie would ever be real. i just can’t imagine two men fighting aliens and having really powerful guns with them all the time.

thank goodness i haven’t met a person who fears aliens.

zombies and aliens, for me, are just mere products of the wild human mind. i don’t fear both because i don’t believe in them. yeah, that’s it for me. 🙂 🙂

this has been my blog entry for March 27, 2012, Tuesday.