Birthday!

it’s my 19th birthday today!!!!

and the countdown beginsΒ for my last days being a teenager. i was expecting myself to feel a little unhappy about it (dramatic, i know) but it feels just like any other day. the older i get the the less excited i am about these things. i used to be okay with celebrating occasions and stuff but now, i don’t even think it’s necessary to do so.

i haven’t posted in so long that it’s my first time seeing the new theme for making a new post. it looks light and android-like.

anyway, happy birthday to me!!

do you get that feeling?

that feeling of emptiness, loss and fear all bottled up inside you that you don’t know how to handle it anymore?

and that feeling of being buried by your own emotions because you can’t contain them all at once?

i think that’s what i have been feeling for the past two weeks now. i try to distract myself as much as i can but when i’m all alone with no one to talk to, all the emotions keep coming back. Β i have been fearing about my future to be really honest. i want many things to happen for myself. i want things for myself. i’m only 18 but i’ve already been thinking about how i would die in contrary to many who think of how they should survive each day. as i wrote that sentence, i realized that i’m quite a pessimistic person. instead of looking at the fuller side, i tend to focus on its emptiness. i don’t know why i’m like,Β again.Β 

i want to be happy again. not only when i’m with my friends or when i’m surrounded with lots of people but also when i’m all alone. i’d like to enjoy the being alone again. i’d like to be able to see that there’s something good for me and that i’m actually good for something. that i’m worth something.

Last Day of 2013

So, this will be my last post for this year, 2013!!! (obviously lol)

I haven’t posted anything in 3 months and i’m so sorry for that. This blog entry will contain all the important events that happened in my 2013. Not all of them may seem important to you but they are to me because these will be the things that made me feel happy, sad, important and all different emotions.

Let’s start!

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These photos were taken in January during my Tito and Lola’s birthday. Their bdays aren’t on the same day but the family just decided to spend on one day cause it’s more convenient for everyone since we don’t live near one another. I don’t actually remember anything in particular about this day. We just skyped with my Titos in the US and the kids were playing, oh they were really enjoying the time cause it’s not that often that they see each other. And as for me.. well, I think I ate a lot.. like i always do during family gatherings. πŸ™‚

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This was on Valentine’s Day! I don’t have a boyfriend so I just spent it at school with friends. The first photo was taken inside my school. The Student Council at that time held a movie marathon so we decided to go because we actually have nothing else to do. The other two photos were taken inside the Eastwood Mall. They had like a special “event” (idk what it’s called, sorry) for chocolates and so we went there then took a picture behind that heart thingy. πŸ˜› The mall was actually just in front of my school… Valentine’s was a lazy day for us. Haha. πŸ˜€

OH! The SC also had this BINGO contest thing and my friend won so she treated us some McDonald’s πŸ™‚

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See!! McLovin’ πŸ™‚

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INFOLYMPICS :))

My friend and I had the chance to take a picture with Jeric Teng. He went here because he plays for the Informatics Icons for the D-League. They just gave a few encouraging words and hoped that we all support them in the competition. He’s super tall! Or mayber i’m just super short. hahaha πŸ˜› The second pic was taken during the second day of the infolympics. I was reading “Looking for Alaska” by John Green at the time and I actually brought the book with me as you can see in the picture.

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This was our project in Logic Design. Alou and I thought we wouldn’t be able to finish this one because we didn’t pay that much attention in this class (sorry, sir Tacs :D) but fortunately, we managed to complete it and make it work. Alou was going through a hard time during the making of this project so I had to be more understanding and patient with her. Hi Alou! LOL.

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I don’t remember if this was a fieldtrip or a team-building event.. but it was fun πŸ™‚ We got to swim after we went through all the obstacle courses. Then I actually got to touch a cow or a sheep or a carabao’s back… I don’t know what it’s called.. but it was something on it’s back which was similar to a camel’s but it was so soft when you touch it. It looked hard but it’s not.. get it? Haha πŸ˜›

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This was a despedida party for my friend, Honeyme and also a birthday party for her. Well, it was a party for the gang πŸ˜€ She was going to leave to Mindanao and stay there for good with her family. I was sad this day because my bestfriend was leaving and I don’t know when we’ll be able to see each other again. We did have lots of fun this day but I think I also cried after a few days because I was going to be away with my friend. ugh. the emotions. πŸ˜₯ We still do stay in contact. πŸ™‚

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1st photo: Taken at the entrance of Pizza Hut Eastwood. It was my friend’s birthday and she treated us. She’s actually not in the photo above… LOL. I’m such a bad friend. But I couldn’t find a better picture! She would understand. AHahaha πŸ˜›

2nd photo: We were having a photoshoot for our project in Photoshop class. We had to make a poster with a theme, and our theme was…. nothing really… just students wearing their uniforms. πŸ˜€ lol. we aren’t that creative. The posters were hung on the first floor of the school building. I don’t know if I should be happy about that or embarrassed.

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These are my high school friends πŸ™‚ I forgot where this was though… :/ I think we drove for 4 hours or more just to get here. We left at dawn and we still haven’t arrived at the location when the sun showed up.

It was still a fun day πŸ™‚ This was a treat by my friend’s parents πŸ™‚

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Me with our project in Physics 2! It got lights inside the house and around the front part. We worked really hard for this! :))))

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My cousin’s debut! (18th birthday) First picture’s with friends from hs and the second one’s a family picture. πŸ™‚ She doesn’t have a phone because she refused to have one but on this day, she wasn’t able to refuse because it was a gift for her. :)) Now, she never lets anyone use it. Haha.

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Now, this one’s on my debut! We didn’t have lots of pics so I just chose this one πŸ™‚ It’s the best one.

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With friends during Beer Fest at Eastwood. I don’t know remember if this was on September or October tho.. I was with 2 of my hs friends.. they were the ones who took this pic. Hehe. πŸ˜€

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Mary’s surprise birthday party! 18th! We were told to wear casual clothes but they wore dresses!!!! traitors! lol. But it’s okay, Mary wore a shirt and a pair of jeans. πŸ˜€ We belong.

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Christmas Day! πŸ˜€ (other relatives are there too… lol)

And an addition to my life….

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Team B from YG Entertainment. They have not debuted yet but BGolds and Watermelons are waiting for them!

From left to right: Kim HanBin, Kim JinHwan, Song YunHyeon, Kim JiWon, Kim DongHyuk, Goo JunHoe

now… random pics. :)))

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Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

One of those days…

Minsan talaga hindi mo maiiwasan na mainis na lang sa magulang mo eh. Syempre, iba iba tayo ng dahilan kung bakit tayo naiinis sa kanila. Yung iba dahil sa paggising sa’yo sa umaga kahit antok na antok ka pa, yung iba naman dahil lagi ka na lang nilang inuutusan lalo na kapag bunso ka, at minsan dahil ayaw kang payagan sa mga events/places na gusto mong puntahan.

Ako rin syempre may sarili akong dahilan pero hindi ko na sasabihin. Hindi ako nangungunsinti sa pagka-inis ng mga kabataan sa mga magulang nila, ang gusto ko lang sabihin ay, sa tingin at opinyon ko lang naman, normal na ito. Meron kasing ibang mga anak na sa sobrang inis nila sa magulang nila ay nagagawa na nilang maglayas sa kadahilanang napakababaw, at alam ko naman na mali iyon. Ako, sa sarili, kahit kailan ay hindi ko magagawang maglayas. Unang dahilan, hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta. Pangalawa, walang akong pera pantustos sa sarili ko. Pangatlo, natatakot ako. Panglima, hindi ‘yon makakaya ng konsensya ko.

At the end of the day naman, inis lang yan. Lalo na kung yung inis na iyon ay dulot lang ng mga rason na naitala ko kanina, mawawala at mawawala rin ang inis na yan. Hindi naman kasi natin sila matitiis eh at ganun din sila sa atin.

 

My New Obsessions

I have not blogged for a while now… it’s been so busy with all the school activities, projects, exams, events, everything! But with all those busy-ness, i was able to find new interests.

First: 5 Seconds of Summer!

5sos2from left to right: Luke Hemmings, Calum Hood, Ashton Irwin and Michael Clifford.

They’re a band from Australia(woohoo) and i actually knew them because of One Direction, i am a directioner if you don’t know πŸ™‚

Liking this band made me feel like i’m an old lady because only Ashton is older than me! I feel like a pedophile to be honest. Speaking of being honest, i prefer their music than 1D’s. We all cannot deny that 1D’s music is ‘bubblegum’.. i don’t even know the right term for it, but 5SOS’ music is pop rock. I quite enjoy it. Another, I like them because they’re almost the same age as me which makes them relatable, to me to say the least. These boys are gorgeous and that’s also a factor. πŸ™‚

Oh! Before i forget, i actually thought Calum was Asian and that’s why i followed him on twitter(he was the first one i followed). Then as i was googling things about them, i found out that Calum hated it when people think he’s Asian. I was a bit sad andΒ offendedΒ because i’m Asian (Filipino) but i’m not gonna judge him just because of that. I know he’s not shallow nor close-minded to hate a race. πŸ™‚ Calum’s my fave. He’s my baby boy. πŸ™‚

And to finish off, they play instruments. Enough said. No, it isn’t. I like boys who play instruments and can sing. They all can sing! I love it. I love this band. Thanks, 1D!

Second: Paramore and Fall Out Boy

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Don’t get me wrong, i have known these bands for a long time now but only now have i realized how much i like their music. I enjoy them. Very much. I have my own concerts in the house singing their songs πŸ˜› Up to this day. πŸ™‚ I still have not grown tired of them and i probably won’t ever.

I like the ‘before‘Β Paramore and the current Paramore. I don’t care if people say Still Into You is corny because Β I actually enjoy listening to it. Specially that acoustic version they did in LA (I think). I like their sound from before and from now. They’ll be around for long. πŸ™‚

Now, Fall Out Boy. πŸ™‚ When i was younger, i didn’t like this band. I can’t remember why, i just didn’t. But then, one day, I was watching MTV and their song ‘The Phoenix’ came on and i thought it was really cool. So i searched for it on Youtube and i got obsessed. I listened to it for weeks. Then, i found out about the song Sugar, We’re Going Down and once again, i found a new addiction. Yay me!

Third: ROAR!

katyI edited this image and i’m sorry for my poor photoshop skills! And yes, this is about Katy Perry’s new single, Roar. I like this song because of its message. Just a few weeks ago, i watched Katy’s movie about her life while she’s on tour and how she handles her personal and pubic life. I’m not what you can call a ‘fan‘ but that movie was touching and inspirational. I bet her fans loved her even more because i did.

Last but not the least, Fourth: Bamboo

bambsThis is Bamboo MaΓ±alac. He is considered a rock icon legend in my country, Philippines. He is currently one of the coaches in The Voice Philippines. And to me, he is one attractive man. Woohoo. And he’s got a voice that can rule the world. He is so rock n’ roll. Wow, i sound cheesy and corny. or do i? haha.

Bamboo was the vocalist of Rivermaya (one of the best bands in the country) and the band Bamboo. There’s not much i could say about him right now because i’m still in the process of discovering the greatness that is him. I’ll leave you with his cover of A TeamΒ and an original by Rivermaya, 214.

These are the people i obsessed over while trying to balance time for all the school works i have. They gave me peace at times where my brain seemed to refuse to function well. I did not include 1D in this because they are aΒ given. πŸ™‚ Till next time.

Today, my…

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So today, my sister bought me a bag. I couldn’t take a better photo coz my father is right at the corner. >.< I’m blogging about a ‘bag’ because i like this ‘bag’. Too much use of the word ‘bag’ in this blog entry so bear with me please.

It was a few months ago when I first realized that i like bags. Not handbags or shoulder bags but backpacks. I do own 2 shoulder bags though πŸ™‚ The reason why I’m not fond of handbags and shoulder bags is that you can only carry it with one arm, so I decided to stay with the reliable backpacks. You can put a lot more things inside them! AND, more pockets too!

Anyway, my friend said that on Friday she’ll cook pancit canton for me πŸ™‚ YAY! meehhh. I’m excited about that because that will be the last Friday of my summer this year. Classes will start next week. Ugh. My body is not yet prepared for this.

And that book at the back, that’s John Green’s “The Fault In Our Stars“. I haven’t read it and it’s been with me for months! I borrowed it from my friend who hasn’t read it either. Maybe I’ll read it when I’m stressed over all my upcoming homeworks/projects/exams or whatsoever. I don’t really want to think about going back to school right now. I must enjoy the last days of my vacation. I must! But this bag is a great start for my second year. πŸ™‚