i don’t express…

i don’t express my true feelings often………….because i’m afraid to.

i don’t know why but i’m always too afraid to give people the response they wouldn’t like. i’m always driven by the thought that they would think bad of me. yes, i can express who i am to my friends and to God, but i have difficulties being myself to someone who’s older or who has more authority than i do. sometimes, i feel too intimidated because i think they are smarter and just better than i am. another is that i feel shy around people that aren’t younger or the same age as me.  and last but not the least, i don’t want to disappoint them.

some people expect a lot from me. i remember when my Chemistry teacher told me that i was his prospect as student leader. i’m not very competitive myself. i do care for my studies and a lot of different things but i can’t handle too much responsibilities. i’m not as outstanding as i think or as they think i can be.

because of those expectations thrown unto me, i got this habit of telling people what they want to hear from me and not what i really want to tell them. it’s really hard to get over this. i know people might tell me to just be confident and express myself but i also know that it’s easier said than done.

i just wanna be me. and be happy.

buti pa nga si Budoy laging happy, sana ako rin. 😦 🙂

well then, this has been my blog entry for March 25, 2012.


NOTE: see the last sentence? that was 5 days before my HS graduation. the reason why i did not post this is because i was afraid to. afraid that someone i know might be reading my blog.

i was feeling so bad because i have disappointed a lot. mostly because they expected too much from me. 

but i’ve moved on. i’m all happy now.


What Do You Think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s